Do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?

I made a comment about the story "Subreality - Chapter One" on Wattpad:

@DarienTedder Thanks! And yeah, most likely there are quite a few (this was originally my 2011 NaNo and I haven’t managed to correct it properly yet)

@-1812- Hmm, the only thing I’d have against past tense is that because this is partially set in a virtual reality and partly in actual reality, I decided to write anything in VR in present tense and anything in the real world in past tense, to differentiate

Oh, is some of it in second person? I know I started attempting to write in second person but quickly abandoned it. (Shouldn’t be any after the first two paragraphs unless I’ve messed up somewhere.)

I’ll see what I can do about long sentences (I always end up doing this) and proof-reading shall commence straight away. Thanks for the feedback! It’s greatly appreciated~

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